URGENT MEMO TO DRISAN JAMES: Awesome
game!
URGENT MEMO TO
BOISE
STATE SENIORS: Thank you for your
great efforts and highly entertaining performances!
Also, thank you for letting Zagco take anonymous, Internet message board
potshots at you for 4 years. As
Zagco tells his wife, no matter what he says or does, he loves you!
PERFECTION is a state of being
that very few people attain. It is
defined, inter alia, as “excellent
or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement,” and “entirely
without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings,” etc.
Perfect. (n.d.). Dictionary.com
Unabridged (v 1.0.1). Retrieved November 13, 2006, from Dictionary.com
website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Perfect.
Zagco, your friendly
neighborhood WAC football prognosticator, has not only attained perfection, but
he has conquered it and made it a part of his deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA).
Zagco was, yet again, PERFECT in his weekly WAC football predictions.
Zagco’s run of perfection continues to advance forward,
relentlessly—like the Jedi. His
streak now stands at 19 consecutive accurate predictions—an unbeaten streak
that surpasses the 1972 Miami Dolphins and a streak that will stand the test of
time. His overall record is a
stunning 52-7, which translates to a winning percentage of .881.
SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: FAMOUS
LEFT-FOOTED PEOPLE
As a threshold matter, Zagco
would like to confess that he has never really trusted left-footed people.
Much like Show Folk, left-footed people have always struck Zagco as being
rather dilettantish and even immoral. One
of the things that have always really frightened Zagco about left-footed people
is how they have an unfair advantage running around tracks.
Additionally, Zagco has also always been very, very skeptical of kickers,
going all the way back to that whole incident involving Garo Yepremian screwing
up what would have been the only shutout in Superbowl history.
However, other than the Dutch, left-footed people, and kickers, Zagco has
always firmly believed the world is full of fair-minded, trustworthy people
entitled to equal respect.
Anyhoo, when Zagco searched, via
Google ™, for “famous left-footed people,” he was frankly not all that
surprised at the search result, to wit: “Your
search - "Famous left footed people" - did not match any
documents.” The helpful
suggestions that come with such results led Zagco to be more general, so he
searched for “famous southpaws.” This
result was more successful, and it produced results that were not as scary as
Zagco expected. For every Billy the
Kid, there was an Albert Einstein; for every Fidel Castro there was a Jimi
Hendrix; and for every Charlemagne there was a Goldie Hawn.
Most significantly, however, was Zagco’s re-discovery that Ricky
Henderson was a southpaw! Ricky and
Zagco have a lot in common, and this gem of knowledge has caused Zagco, as he
types this edition of Frags, to completely re-assess his views on people who use
the wrong hand and/or foot to do things.
So, in
the spirit of equality and diversity among those who choose to use their wrong
foot and their correctly choose to use their right foot, Zagco would like to
extend his big toes (so to speak!) to
Boise
State
kicker Anthony “Lefty” Montgomery, who kicked the winning field goal last
weekend against San Jose Can You See as time expired!
Zagco
thought that Mr. Montgomery looked icy cool in the short buildup to the kick,
and his approach and follow-through were nothing less than impeccable.
Kickers, it seems, exude a confidence or lack thereof that is often
detectable, even on television, before critical kicks.
Mr. Montgomery certainly left Zagco, for one, feeling 100% confident in
the end result from the moment the camera captured him coming onto the field.
Zagco
believes that all left-footed people, especially kickers, owe Mr. Montgomery
their gratitude, and Bronco fans worldwide owe him a big “THANK YOU” for his
clutch, last-second, game-winning kick. In
the heavily French-accented words of Inspector Clouseau played by the late Peter
Sellers: “Here is looking at
you.”
SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: DON’TCHA
HATE IT WHEN…
Don’t you hate it when your
favorite football team goes on the road to play a critical game and your
starting quarterback gets the Chicken Pox, one of your backup running backs has
a concussion, and your Heisman candidate running back suffers a partially
collapsed lung? I hate when that
happens.
Seriously, people, what the f@3%
happened last week? I mean, what
next? Ebola hemorrhagic fever? Hantavirus?
Legionnaire’s disease? The
mumps? Alien abductions?
I mean, seriously! It’s
like that Willie and Frankie skit on SNL with Billy Crystal and Christopher
Guest—the one where they talk about all these completely off-the-wall things
that have happened to them as if they are everyday events, finishing stories off
with the mantra, “I hate when that happens.”
Zagco would like to acknowledge our players for being so dang tough and
playing at such a high level under such conditions.
If Zagco had the Chicken Pox and/or a partially collapsed lung, he’d be
curled up on the sofa with a nice blanket and his jammies, sipping hot cocoa and
watching old I Love Lucy re-runs while he begs his wife to bring him more fresh
chocolate chip cookies.
Just think: Someday, Messrs.
Johnson and Zabransky will be able to tell their grandkids that they played a
critical football game with a partially collapsed lung and the Chicken Pox, and
their grandkids will think they are nutty old men!
It sounds too bizarre to be true.
Zagco is going to guess that Z is over his bout of Chicken Pox and that he
will not contract anything else, like the Bubonic Plague or the Boogie Woogie
Flu. Zagco will also guess, as of
this writing, that our Big Johnson will sit out this week.
As for John Helmandollar—long one of Zagco’s favorite players—Zagco
has heard that he told Coach Petersen that he is “fust jine to slay
this Paturday.” Zagco, for
one, would LOVE to see Mr. Helmandollar get his groove back.
Thus, as it stands, it appears that we will see more of the exciting
Vinnie Peretta and the workmanlike Brett Denton at the running back position.
Zagco believes we will be very productive at the running back position
this week, so long as our offensive line brings its “A” game.
QUERY: As a side note, Zagco is
curious about what would happen to the Rainbow Warriors of Hawai’i if their
quarterback got the Chicken Pox and one of their other key offensive performers,
like Davone Bess, suffered a partially collapsed lung, and one of their backup
running backs or receivers was out with a concussion, all during a road game….
RETURNING SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: UPDATED
WAC STATISTICS FROM THE WAC WEBSITE!!!
Click on the hyperlink below to
see the updated WAC statistics:
http://www.wacsports.com/fls/10100/stats/football/2006/confldrs.htm?SPSID=45953&SPID=4122&DB_OEM_ID=10100
MAIN SECTION: ZAGCO’S WEEK
12 PICKS!!!!
North Central Idaho Vandals v.
Fresno
State
Bulldogs
Where:
Fresno
,
California
When: Saturday, November 18, 2006,
at 3:00 p.m. MT (WAC.tv)
Fresno
finally got off the Schneid last week, snapping its seven game losing streak
against the Aggies of New Mexico State. Given
their record of not caring about WAC games, Zagco has no doubt that the victory
has left the vast majority of Fresno’s players and fans feeling empty—they
don’t really “get” wins, unless the opponent is one that they consider to
be a “big,” helmet-in-the-locker-room worthy opponent.
Zagco hopes, for the sake of
Fresno
and the WAC, that they quickly learn to appreciate each and every win they
earn.
Fresno
beat
New Mexico
State
last week, as Zagco predicted. Alas,
he is not totally sold on
Fresno
being “back.” He expects this
game to be close, as
Fresno
’s offense just seems incapable of putting the hurt on anyone.
Idaho
, as we discussed last week, has done its typical post-Boise State nosedive.
Idaho
suffers from a problem similar to Fresno’s, except instead of caring about wins versus any big opponents like Fresno, Idaho only cares about Boise State. It makes Zagco sad.
Fresno will beat Idaho, pulling out another win its players don’t really care about.
San Jose
Can You See Spartans v.
Hawai’i
Rainbow Warriors
Where:
Paradise
When: Saturday, November 11, 2006,
at 9:00 p.m.-ish MT
San Jose Can You See looked darn
solid last week—pretty fast, pretty physical, very well-prepared, and some
nice individual skill. That Yonus Davis feller was just freakin’ amazing—remember that crazy, jitterbug run
where he switched directions about five times!?!
WOW! Dude was sick!
This week, the Bay Area Spartans
have two overarching issues: (1)
will they, like so many other teams, fall off after giving everything they had
and more to beat Boise State, a team Coach Dick Tomey (a totally decent guy)
called the “Wicked Witch of the North” after the game; and (2) Hawai’i.
Zagco believes there will be a bit of a letdown for the Spartans, having
to travel so far to play a very intimidating opponent after a crushing loss.
Bigger that that, however, is
Hawai’i
, a team that may force record book keepers to begin using scientific notation
to save space.
Keep in mind, however, that
San Jose
has the second best passing defense in the WAC.
They will cause
Hawai’i
some problems.
San Jose
also has one of the three best overall defenses.
Thus, Zagco expects
San Jose
to present some issues for
Hawai’i
, but in the end
Hawai’i
’s overwhelming offensive skill talent and the letdown for
San Jose
after the tough
Boise
State
loss will prove to be too much for the Bay Area Spartans.
Hawai’i
will get a relatively tough win over the Spartans.
Reno Pack o’Wolves v. La Tech Bulldogs
Where: Down South
When: Saturday, November 11, 2006,
at 6:00 p.m. MT (WAC.tv)
Other than the fact that this is
a road game for
Reno
, there is just no reason why this game should be close. Reno’s fans—the ones who post on BroncoCountry—assure us that that Pack is the
real deal this year, and Zagco has no reason to doubt them! Statistically, Reno dominates, and La Tech is almost Utah State-like in its ineptitude.
There’s just not much to say with respect to La Tech.
Regardless of whether Pack
running back Robert Hubbard is able to play after missing most of the
Utah
State
game after “tweaking” his ankle, Zagco expects the Pack will role to a win
over travel- and loss-weary La Tech.
Reno
’s biggest hurdle might be getting out of this game without any more
“tweaks” that could prevent its players from playing next week.
Reno
will pull out relatively comfortable road win over La Tech.
Utah
State
Aggies v.
Boise
State
Broncos
Where: The Blue
When: Saturday, November 11, 2006,
at 1:00 p.m. MT (KTVB Channel 7; WAC.tv)
The tale of the tape:
-
Boise
State
has the second highest scoring offense and has allowed the least points on
defense in the WAC.
Utah
State
is dead last in scoring offense and has given up the second most points in
the WAC.
-
Boise
State
has the third best total offense and the best total defense in the WAC.
Utah
State
is last in total offense and second to last in total defense.
This game is going to be a wipeout. Zagco
has no interest in discussing the nuances of Utah State, as he believes he has adequately covered them in earlier editions of Zag’s
Frags.
Zagco has a few observations for Boise State
:
(1) Our offensive line seemed to
vary from great to sloppy on an almost play-by-play basis against
San Jose;
(2) I thought our receivers, especially Mr. James, came to play, and Zagco
sure hopes they keep that up from here on out; (3) Zagco remains perplexed at
why we go through so many plays on defense where we are giving the quarterback
all the time in the world to throw the ball.
Zagco once heard a famous coach (maybe Buddy Ryan) talk about how if you
don’t get pressure on the quarterback within a handful of ticks, even crappy
quarterbacks will pick your defense apart. Zagco
fully agrees – we have GOT to get pressure on the quarterback; and (4) Zagco
was relieved to see the screens called in the fourth quarter – San Jose’s
defensive scheme was BEGGING to be screened to death.
Boise
State
will clobber the Logan-based Aggies.
All content ©2006 BroncoCountry.com/Scout.com.